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Joke of the Day

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629"""

"A prostitute worked her shift on a Saturday. Approximately eight fucks were given that day."

"I'm voting for Trump... I've never seen a president assassinated."

"Why is Reddit full of liberals? All the conservatives are out working."

"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep... But not the other 3 people in his car."

"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?"

"What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma? When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head."

"people almost never ask me for man advice because 98% of it is ""you should slash his tires"""

"My boyfriend is so cute I decided to get another."

"TIL that in the PC version of GTA V there's a new keyboard shortcut which when you press it will cause your character to kill minorities Alt+Right"