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Joke of the Day

"A prostitute worked her shift on a Saturday. Approximately eight fucks were given that day."

"Question in a Soviet radio. ""What is your favorite historic figure and why Lenin?"""

"What's the worst part about being a railroad conductor? The training."

"My girlfriend says I can't visualise things I can't imagine why."

"I ripped my pants and had to sew them back up. Britches love stitches."

"Me: Dude, back off. You're totally scaring away all the hot guys checking me out at the gym. H: You do realize I'm your husband, right?"

"Did you hear about the guy who jumped off a tall building and fell through a manhole? He commited sewercide"

"What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after 3 Ho's"

"if a child of mine is ever incredibly muscular at birth i would consider naming it XERXES in all caps like that"

"One of my biggest fears is that before I die, spiders will evolve the ability to coordinate their legs and run like horses."