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Joke of the Day

"If actions speak louder than words, then why is it the thought that counts?"

"Watching cartoons with my son is awesome except for all the commercials & now his Christmas list has 26,724 things on it. Shit."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. I'm sorry, everyone."

"Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof."

"Pappu:- Should i punished for the work which I have not done?? Teacher: - No of course not, but why do you ask? Pappu: - Because, I have not done my home work.... :) :)"

"I didn't realise Trump had a communist streak, but... His call for people of the world to seize the means of reproduction was rather stirring!"

"What Do You Call a Rabbit with a Crooked Dick? Fucks Funny"

"Yo Momma is sooo fat.... That when the Millennium Falcon saw her, Ben said ""That's no moon"""

"Q: Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil? A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from /r/funny by request)"

"My girlfriend was asked to step aside and frisked at the airport for resembling a Friends character. I think she was a victim of Rachel profiling."