173731

Joke of the Day

"Me: so I'm delusional? Doctor: yes. Me: and you're a delusion? Doctor: yes. Me: I want a second opinion. Pink Dragon: you're delusional."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps CAN finish a race!"

"When fighting clowns, never hesitate. Go straight for the juggler."

"I broke up with my Gym.... We were just not working out."

"[1st date] Maybe next time i could meet your dog [2nd date] Your dog is so cool [3rd date] Do u mind if me & your dog hung out without you"

"""Hi, it's me. I can't get to the phone right now, even though it's right here in my hand."""

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick up your ass!"

"Aww, c'mon! Let me crack your baby's knuckles."

"Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer? Officer: It was speeding along the information highway."

"I just read an article about a man swept out to sea during a baptism. I guess that's God's Way of saying ""Nope""."