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Joke of the Day

"I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event... ...the words ""Just Do It"" would be everywhere."

"I didn't know you could get paid for donating sperm. When I think of all the money I've let slip through my fingers..."

"All I'm saying is that if M&M's poured out of a person after you stabbed them, I'd probably lose my moral compass very quickly."

"Why did microsoft go directly to windows 10? Because windows 7 8 9"

"Do you ever think about how ""Chips Ahoy"" is meant to evoke a weary ship captain finally encountering a cookie with a decent amount of chips"

"How do you react when looking in the mirror? You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar."

"Did you hear about the Middle Eastern beauty contest? Me neither."

"Anal Lube? More like Anal *Noob*"

"What is the radio operator's favourite romantic story? R and J"

"Have you heard about the guy who didn't want to walk the plank? He wasn't on board with it."