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Joke of the Day

"Pakistan makes nuclear threat in response to fake news The struggle Israel"

"How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house? Paint a goal line on your driveway."

"What was the vacant lot's favorite Spoon song? Don't Make Me A Target"

"Today I went to the protest The protesters aren't going to mace themselves"

"[helping son prepare for first date] ""what if she doesn't like it"" *stuffing handkerchiefs up son's sleeve* be confident in your magic, son"

"[awesome life of caterpillar] 1) all I do is eat, awesome 2) time to sleep in this cozy bag, awesome 3) *wakes up*OMG I CAN FLY NOW, AWESOME"

"Although no words have been spoken per se, I'm pretty sure the dude in the next stall just challenged me to a beat-boxing contest."

"2005: We want cell phones to be so tiny 2015: We want cell phones the size of the big rib from the Flintstones intro that tips the car over"

"What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee? I feel positively charged!"

"Jared Leto's primary preparation for his role as the Joker was changing his middle name to Stil"