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Joke of the Day

"What present did the kid with no hands get? Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet."

"Why did the chicken cross the bridge? To get away from the Turkey coop."

"4 gay guys walk into a bar, but there's only 1 available stool. What do they do? Flip it over."

"ME: I can't come in to work. My grandma died BOSS: your grandma has died 4 times this year ME: yeah she's a cat"

"What do you call people who hang out with musicians? Drummers"

"My husband and I both have colds but only his is really really bad."

"Why Didn't the Jew Score Another Date with the Asian Girl? Hebrew it."

"I can confidently say I'm 150 pounds of solid sexy. Plus 40-50 of squishy stuff."

"My heart is like an onion... I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again"

"I like how when you pull down on a paper towel dispenser you either get half a paper towel or half the roll."