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Joke of the Day

"Why Didn't the Jew Score Another Date with the Asian Girl? Hebrew it."

"Me and a friend.. Walk into a pet store and the employee asks ""Anything that I can help you find?"" and then proceeded to kick us out. apparently dinner wasn't the right answer."

"There once was ... There once was a fellow named Wes, who tried to make his comments the best, although sometimes he missed, he never expected to get dissed, but some redditors downvoted nonetheless."

"When cats are sad... Bartender: ""What can I get you?"" Cat: ""Shot of tequilla."" *Bartender pours it.* *Cat slowly pushes it off the bar.* Cat: ""I'll have another."""

"I hate that ""You know what to do"" voicemail greeting, because if a recently unfrozen caveman calls, I bet that makes him feel pretty bad."

"Did you know Helen Keller lived in a haunted house? Neither did she."

"Why are New Yorkers so depressed?? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."

"Anyone realize Dora is always lost every episode? Why is their no Amber alert for her? Is it because she's Mexican?"

"Two cannibals are sitting around eating dinner. One begins to complain to the other, ""You know, I really don't like my mother in law."" ""Then just eat the noodles."""

"[NSFW] what do you call a Uk police woman with a shaved pussy? Cuntstubble"