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Joke of the Day

"So aparently my local pub is haunted. Everyone keeps telling me the place is full of spirits."

"The ducks in Cern What does the ducks in Cern say? Quark Quark"

"If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit."

"Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates? They don't want to be ostrich-sized!"

"What's the hardest thing about scout camp? No, not your scout master's dick, but choosing what to wear in his tent."

"I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane"

"What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?"

"For Sale: 2010 Honda Civic. Well maintained. Some Zipcar logos. Must purchase in next three hours."

"What is a ghosts favourite job? Tax Inspectre"

"An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears that this is true."