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Joke of the Day

"Last name: Ever. First name: Greatest. Middle name: Hashbrowns."

"I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it."

"How I flirt: *Stares from a distance*"

"Misplaced apostrophes are just as annoying as the question mark I've used here?"

"How does every ethnic joke start? By looking over your shoulder."

"Why can't I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!"

"Just walked FACE FIRST into a spider's web on my porch. Shoutout to my neighbors who now think I love showing off my frantic break dancing."

"Coworker: My husband's an angel. Me: You're lucky.. mine's still alive."

"Why are there no owls here? I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters"

"So thankful I wasn't molested as a child, but think it's weird no one tried. Was it my fault??"