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Joke of the Day

"In case you're thinking about having a kid, my daughter just threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let her watch me poop."

"I always make sure I have a single male friend Because he comes in handy."

"Parents: Don't let your kids get fake tattoos. Get 'em get real deal prison ink & teach 'em something about this shit called LIFE."

"What do Walruses and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"Two neanderthals had a baby... No Homo"

"Whats the difference between the circus and a strip club? Circus is full of cunning stunts."

"You're the bomb! A compliment in America. An argument in the Middle East."

"What is Italian-American foreplay? ""Hey! Wake up and roll over!"""

"What does a Drake fan with AIDS get tattooed on his back? If you're reading this it's too late."

"Elf cop:""We got a robbery in progress on Candy Cane lane. Hit the light Rudolf! *Rudolf sticks nose through sunroof*"