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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a USB and the USA? One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard."

"Have you heard of the nuttiest band in rock n roll? The almond brothers... I'll go now"

"My wife keeps telling me I shouldn't pee in the bath Or if I really have to, I should at least wait till she gets out."

"Why Did Barbie Never Get Pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."

"Why is Jennifer Lawrence the only one freaking out about the nude photo leak? Because she's the only one with a fat load on her face."

"What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?? Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window"

"Friendly Competition my girlfriend and i often laugh about how competitive we are. but i laugh more :)"

"A hippie is walking along A Hippy is walking along wearing one shoe. Another hippy sees him and calls out, 'Hey man, you lose a shoe?' ""Nope, found one"""

"[driving] Goddamn pedestrians [walking] Goddamn drivers [both] Goddamn cyclists"

"The two things to remember when ur a pothead 1)U lose short term memory 2) Damn! I know there's something else"