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Joke of the Day

"I always make sure to buy high quality toilet paper... If you get the cheap stuff, you'll pay for it in the end."

"I typed ""Cigarettes"" in the search bar and it said ""No Matches"". The universe has spoken."

"What do you think about a girl isn't a virgin before 18?"

"All I want is for someone to push me up against a wall Lean in And whisper 'I'll do your housework'"

"An Irish guy walks out of a bar... And that is the joke"

"his palms are sweaty, knees weak, palms are sweaty. he forgot his lyrics already, palms are sweaty"

"[meeting] Bill: we'll call it BILLOSOPHY Phil [pulling out briefcase and assembling gun]: Good idea! Steal my board idea now this? Not again"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? ...none. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the shit out of the room for being black."

"Did you hear Richie Benaud died today? It happened this morning at twooo:twentytoooo"

"Never trust a depressed elevator. It'll only bring you down."