142611

Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? ...none. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the shit out of the room for being black."

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a.... Oh shit they're done That is all"

"Guess how I spell distraction? R-E-D-D-I-T"

"Your mom at a food bank...Food for thot."

"Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate. Waiters gonna wait. Aligators gonna aligate."

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."

"I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one"

"Her: I'm running a little late. M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time. Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter"

"my uber driver said today, ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."" Then I said, ""Turn left"""

"My girlfriend asked me what world of Warcraft and league of legends are. Wow, lol."