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Joke of the Day

"I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers."

"I feel like we're so close to finding the perfect zinger that will make the whole country immediately unite."

"There are 10 kinds of people Those who know binary and those who don't"

"[NSFW] My favorite sex act is the JFK... I love blowing my man's head off."

"A priest, a theif, and a child molester enters a bar. He buys a drink."

"""Did you guys see me get so mad I flipped a table?"" Yes Tony, we saw it. You're 46. You have to stop taking your skateboard to restaurants."

"Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me."

"My ex-wife still misses America Online... ...BUT HER **A.I.M.** IS GETTING BETTER!"

"I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards. And?"

"What do you call a road that doesn't care about anyone? A psycho-path."