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Joke of the Day

"All I want is for someone to push me up against a wall Lean in And whisper 'I'll do your housework'"

"Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War? Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!"

"I heard you guys like nooses..... We should hang together!!"

"My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9."

"I was standing in the elevator at work and I couldn't remember why I was mad... Then it hit me"

"A Man Walks Into A Bar The other one ducks"

"Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist? He reads lips :)"

"How do comedians send messages? By tee-hee mail."

"I met Jesus once but he was kind of a dick He was all ""holier-than-thou"""

"My cat's staring at the wall again. Either she can see ghosts, or she's mulling over past social situations she wishes she'd handled better."