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Joke of the Day

"I went to the zoo yesterday, but it was rubbish. All they had was one dog. It was a shitzu."

"Getting up Is only the second hardest thing in the morning."

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow? A stern letter from the ethics committee and an immediate cessation of funding. *stolen from I Fucking Love Science"

"Records have revealed that Hitler had a ""deformed micropenis""... A little ironic, since he's universally remembered for being a huge dick."

"Why should you always run next to a car? Because if you run behind it you get exhausted, and if you run in front of it you get tired!"

"Doctor's wife was told she was terrible in bed. After coming home late, the Doctor accused her of cheating. She responded, ""I wasn't out cheating, I was out getting a second opinion."""

"I got a new stick of deodorant today The instructions said ""Remove cap and push up bottom"". I can barely walk now but when I fart the room smells lovely."

"My doctor told me that I have to stop masturbating! Because otherwise he can't do his medical examination."

"Who's a bitch? PinkShine"

"Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asked if he wanted a drink. Descartes said ""I think not!"" ....and promptly disappeared."