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Joke of the Day

"Just had an awful drive home. I was forced to ride side by side with another car for 5 minutes. We managed to avoid eye contact, but still."

"Friday...Gods Gift to the working People"

"""And why do you want to work at the aquarium?"" * imagines me with a mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours* I like fish"

"Came home and my wife was having sex with some guy in our bed. I confronted her, she denied everything, but I know our bed when I see it."

"Why does Washington DC stink? Because of the B O"

"Growing up in a household dominated by females, you learn: 1. The importance of listening 2. 101 euphemisms for ""the monthly visitor"""

"What do you call someone who drinks too much water? An aquaholic..."

"[2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human"

"I feel sorry for the two policemen outside number 10 Seeming David Cameron has a thing for pigs now."

"What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke? RIP post"