96245

Joke of the Day

"*Shakespeare resetting his password* ""Enter new password."" Fortnight ""Your password is two weeks."""

"When the step kids start talking shit, I like to remind them that I am totally boning their mom."

"What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde? Nobody would know"

"Due to the impending snowstorm on the east coast The center for Global Warming research will be closed due to blizzard until further notice."

"Why was the doctor forced to leave work early? The hospital ran all out of patience"

"My friend asked me, what rhymes with Reddit? I said: No it doesn't"

"My daughter told me I'm ""slightly prettier than Ben Franklin,"" so I have that going for me."

"What did the metaphysicist say when he came out of the bathroom? shit just got real!"

"Poodles are just angry clouds with legs."

"Fellas: Make it a Valentine's Day she'll always remember by simply forgetting it."