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Joke of the Day
"My daughter told me I'm ""slightly prettier than Ben Franklin,"" so I have that going for me."
Next Joke
"I call my wife the iNag because she has 32GB of complaints and they're set on shuffle."
"Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks ""What are you celebrating?"" They say ""We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"""
"Throwing a grenade at someone who's taking a selfie is photobombing, right?"
"Help! I need a communist christmas one liner! Going to a Christmas party with a communist christmas sweater. Need a good one liner... help!"
"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."
"The Kool-Aid Man is a classy actor... even while crashing parties on TV, he never broke the 4th wall."
"Is toasting with deaf people offensive? Hear hear..."
"What did the german with food allergies say? Gluten Nacht"
"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"