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Joke of the Day

"Due to the impending snowstorm on the east coast The center for Global Warming research will be closed due to blizzard until further notice."

"This Facebook is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account."

"Three tampons are walking down the street... which one says ""hi"" to you? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts"

"I wanted to tell you a joke about egoists... but I'll keep that one for myself."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center? Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger."

"Q: Why does Clinton always have a stupid grin on his face? A: He is stupid!"

"After shaking someone's hand, I like to maintain eye contact while applying hand sanitizer."

"I tried acting in porn movies but I only had small parts."

"A Roman walks into a bar He holds two fingers up to the barman and says ""five beers please"""

"My dad asked why i have a gun in my house Is said because of the decepticons, i laughed, my dad laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster, it was a good night."