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Joke of the Day

"Me:OMG RYAN GOSLING DIED! Oh. His hair. He dyed his hair. Brown. Can U believe that was a story? Husband: I think it worked great. Me:Zip it"

"Why don't native Americans like snow? Because it's white and all over their land."

"Me: But I'm sweaty, I'm anxious, my heart rate is up Doctor: This is the 3rd visit I've had to tell you I can't treat being offended online"

"What were the French children doing in the pool? Piscine."

"Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? Because they have a common enemy"

"What's the difference between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a prostitute with dysentery? One shucks between fits and the other fucks between shits."

"Why do Native Americans make the best strippers? Their dancing can make it rain."

"I wanted to be a Ninja, so I googled ""Ninja school"" I followed the link to their website, and it said ""Page cannot be found"" WOW, these motherfuckers are good."

"You know what they say about people with big brains, right? ""You have a severe case of meningitis."""

"My dad was a construction site thief When I got home all the signs were there."