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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a prostitute with dysentery? One shucks between fits and the other fucks between shits."

"I don't smoke to be cool, I smoke so no one asks me to hold their baby."

"There's no easy way to steal a watermelon."

"Whenever you're mad at someone, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Those 10 seconds will give you time to think of the perfect insult."

"I like my jokes like I like my pizza Cheesy "

"I was pretty sure I've been dead and in hell for the past three hours until I was informed the air conditioner isn't working."

"I just yelled ""Where's the baby?!"" while holding the baby. I can't believe it was legal for me to reproduce."

"What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis"

"Today I was wondering ""why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets?""... ... And then it hit me. - Steven Wright"

"It's not so much that I'm a KE$HA hater, its more of the fact that I'm a music lover."