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Joke of the Day

"Me: But I'm sweaty, I'm anxious, my heart rate is up Doctor: This is the 3rd visit I've had to tell you I can't treat being offended online"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Also, tornados and the dark and everything."

"What Operating System does a Redditor use? Fedora Linux!"

"A man rings your internet doorbell.. Says: ""Can you spare 5 minutes to talk about Bernie Sanders?"""

"What do you call a sheep taking Ambien? Shleepy!"

"Wrong spellers.. Untie!!"

"Chemistry joke thread? I'll start: I was at -273.15C one time. It was OK. What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium I'm sorry guys there really are no good chemistry jokes: all the good ones argon."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amahl ! Amahl who ? Amahl shook up !"

"Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet... But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies Edit: Highest rated post! RIP inbox"

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? It's dangerous to hit a lightbulb with a bat."