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Joke of the Day

"[terrorist meeting] ""Let's hit Americans where they gather to shop"" But how will we find these Targets? ""Guys you're not gonna believe this"""

"How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello? Konichihuahua"

"When someone asks, ""How are you?"" I say, ""5-7-8-3"" because they don't care how I am & saying my ATM Code out loud helps me memorize it."

"Your girlfriend is much prettier with her hair down. And by down' I mean over her face'."

"If you ever find yourself being attacked by a gang of clowns... ...go for the juggler."

"You can't make everyone happy. You aren't a jar of Nutella."

"Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack."

"How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich? When it's too heavy to lift."

"The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop. The steaks were high."

"What do you call a lizard that can't get a boner? A reptile dysfunction"