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Joke of the Day

"Nature fact: The female cat gives birth to the body and head of her kittens separately and has to screw the head in like a lightbulb."

Next Joke
 
"The longest relationship I had was 10 days. Then she deflated."
"Before & after marriage Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue, O my darling! I love you... After Marriage: Roses are dead, I have flu, don't come near me, Paray hatt tuu,"
"What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile? A carpet."
"what's up guys welcome 2 mtv cribs 2016 edition today we gonna show you how white peoples homes are oppressive"
"How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero? Three. Two to get murdered and one to never get over it."
"If John Lennon made a rap song today It would go... I'm in love with the Yoko! Them other Beatles thinking oh no! Now they wanna go solo! But no one give a fuck about Ringo!"
"Why is ship tapered Why is shit tapered? So you're asshole doesn't slam shut. (I was watching my dog take a dump yesterday and this old joke came to mind)"
"you gotta hand to short people. Because they can't reach it."
"You know, there's one thing I have yet to witness in life. A crippled stand-up comedian."