37206

Joke of the Day

"Why is ship tapered Why is shit tapered? So you're asshole doesn't slam shut. (I was watching my dog take a dump yesterday and this old joke came to mind)"

"Speed dating has nothing to do with drugs. I know that now."

"Lately, there are a lot of Leftists... ...who all think they're Right."

"Obese People: When your skeleton can't support your mass enough to walk? That's Darwinism's attempt to prevent further hunting & gathering."

"I heard a Hong Kong-based company is going to build the Grand Canal in Nicaragua. Won't yellow fever be a problem?"

"How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna ride bikes?"

"How many hipsters does it take to...? ...Bazinga! nobody cares! you fell for one of my practical jokes again."

"What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash? Take your time, there's no Rush..."

"Patients get nervous when I walk into surgery wearing my lucky cape but I didn't go to medical school so I need all the luck I can get."

"What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ? Lily !"