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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Jesus eat M&M's? Because of the holes in his hands."

"What's the number one comeback on r/Jokes? Riposte."

"I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch. But he got the collar."

"And the King of puns said It's going to be another reigny day"

"What does your momma and a hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after three periods."

"Me: Daughters, dude. Driving me crazy, you know? Him: Yeah. Me: Want another juice box, bro? Him: Yeah. 3 year-old neighbor boy gets me."

"Do you know what a will is? C'mon! It's a dead giveaway."

"911 - 911 what's your emergency Me - I am Australian and I watch too much American TV 911 - .... Me - I don't know our emergency number"

"If I got in a fight, the first thing I'd do is take off my shirt so he could see the scars where I've burned myself ironing. He'd back down."

"My girlfriend told me, ""I wanna smash!"" We played smash bros from 12 to 12!"