197822
Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend told me, ""I wanna smash!"" We played smash bros from 12 to 12!"
Next Joke
"I love indie movies Me too, the best one is the first one with the snakes"
"Does anyone else ever hear their alarm go off in the morning and immediately start rationalizing quitting your job?"
"The dog almost ate the bird tonight. It was like a Dateline episode. ""He kept to himself, but on the evening of June 6, he snapped."""
"How many cops does it take to beat up a light bulb? None. That light bulb fell down the stairs."
"Your penis is so small it could fit inside a 1948 donut hole"
"What did Lincoln say on the last night of his life? ""Aw shit Mary, I need to go see a play tonight like I need a hole in the head..."""
"Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE"
"They say sex burns as many calories as running 5 miles.... WHO THE HELL RUNS 5 MILES IN 30 SECONDS !!!"
"I want to tell a kidney joke... but its just offal."