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Joke of the Day

"If I got in a fight, the first thing I'd do is take off my shirt so he could see the scars where I've burned myself ironing. He'd back down."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a Texan who just had sex? A jolly rancher. Credit goes to my friend at school."
"A prostitute runs out of a chicken coop and says ... ""Well, that's the last time I do *that* for two cocks!"""
"Are we sure that Oscar Pistorius was the only one involved in the murder of his girlfriend? Someone else may well have done the leg work."
"''Ah fuck it"" -Me. Making decisions."
"What do you call a mix between an umingmak and a wealthy Canadian-American inventor? An Elon Muskox! please don't kill me"
"Doctor and Patient Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"
"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race"
"What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car"
"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad"
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