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Joke of the Day

"What's the number one comeback on r/Jokes? Riposte."

"It costs more to make a penny than a penny is actually worth. I don't get, why do we make the penny? It doesn't make any cents. Thanks, I'm here all night."

"Which art piece won the Texas Muhammad cartoon contest? Two chalk outlines."

"Why would Gabe Newell be a good president? Because then World War 3 would never happen"

"Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker ""Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."""

"Miss Anders... I didn't recognise you with your clothes on."

"*psst... ok ok be quiet... ssshhh...* uhhh... how do you sell a duck to a deaf guy? WANNA BUY A DUCK?!?! Uh... This joke isn't as good written down :-("

"Did you know John Denver had dandruff? Yeah, after his plane went down they found his Head and Shoulders washed up on a beach."

"I'm glad the Library of Congress is archiving tweets so that someday alien scientists will know why civilization fell."

"What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the galaxy"