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Joke of the Day

"I sent 117 texts and called you 82 times but you must be busy so I came over to tell you the restraining order expired and I still love you!"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Hot, mocha, and overpriced. Prostitutes. I like prostitutes."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side."

"Man of Steel question. When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be? Liberace?"

"Mopeds are for men who want to ride motorcycles but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas"

"Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing."

"Me and be Jealous?... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... Who is McDonald's and why are you 'lovin it'?"

"Dating tip: to impress your date, put a napkin on your lap. Along with your plate. And the table. And the waiter. You're now the restaurant."

"If a hungry shark is after you what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!"

"My dad hit my with this one: His belt."