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Joke of the Day

"Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing."

"How do you become president of Russia? You gotta Put-in the hours"

"When two organisms mutually benefit, it's called ""symbiosis"" When only one organism benefits, it's called ""parasitism."" When neither benefits, that's called ""marriage."""

"Sleeping with your girlfriend is like sleeping in a no camping zone. You want to get comfy,but you can't risk pitching a tent. Was bored"

"I just saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was all, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'"

"What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted? One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)"

"I decided to show off my six pack on Tinder. Budweiser is not getting me any dates."

"What came first the egg or the Chicken? the egg, of course. Isn't that what I just said?"

"My life. Best joke I know!"

"I don't always tell Dad jokes... But when I do, he laughs."