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Joke of the Day

"*gets caught kissing an optical illusion* it's not what it looks like!"

"What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!"

"I'm still pissed that ""testicle Tuesday"" never took off."

"A psychiatrist diagnosed me with kleptomania. Now I'm taking things for it."

"How can you tell when a salesperson is lying? His lips are moving."

"The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink."

"Why did the stick-figure man's arm keep hitting him in the face? Because it was the punch line."

"Why is Light Beer like sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water"

"Do these jorts stuffed with free breadsticks from Olive Garden make my thighs look oily?"

"My thesis on Orbital Flatulence took seven years of hard work... Well, that's what I tell everyone. I was really just farting around."