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Joke of the Day

"Expecting your guy to be romantic all the time is like expecting you to behave like a porn star all the time."

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck."

"What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*10^23 times? Guacamole"

"It's hard to argue with a spear I mean, it's got a point."

"What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history? American Snipper"

"My pastor asked me how I view lesbian relations. Apparently ""In HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."

"Asked my dad if he heard about the head tranplant on the news. He said, ""No, but it sounds like it's way ahead of it's time."""

"The most inappropriate thing to say to the queen of England, I lick your stamps all the time."

"Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad."