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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS? CaliphNotes!"

"Knock-knock. Who's there? No, he's on first."

"[at Goodwill store] *buys pants that I gave them 6 months ago*"

"greeks Thousands of years ago the Greeks invented sex, a few hundred years later, the French introduced it to women."

"On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment."

"I was about to tell a joke about sodium and hydrogen... ...but NaH"

"Remember when OJ Simpson was found innocent and all of us white people hit the street looting and damaging property?! Oh, that's right, we didn't..."

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye, I had to dump her because she kept seeing guys on the side."

"high school was the free trial version of college. ""if you wish to continue your education you can buy the complete pack for $50,000"""

"Some guy called me a siren. It's like he doesn't even care that I do beeping noises & I can purr & moan & do like all the other sounds, too."