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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a movie about a woman who kills her husband by giving him poisoned Viagra. Calling it ""Die Hard""."

"Saturday night is for moaning My name. Sunday morning is for chanting it."

"There's way too much nudity on TV programs these days... I just sit there shaking my fist at them."

"I don't care what bathroom you identify with. If you look under the stall you're going to need a dentist."

"Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I'm like, that's so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I'm more fun than I actually am"

"What do you call a group of people in charge of renewable energy for a town? A solar panel."

"Greek yogurt Its just not as rich as it was before"

"I was diagnosed with colour blindness yesterday. The news came out of the purple."

"My grandfather told me he closed one eye whenever he saw a jew in the good old days... He was a sniper"

"I went to the doctor's office the other day And he told me, ""you've got to stop masturbating so furiously."" I responded, ""why, doc?"" He angrily responded, ""because, I'm TRYING to examine you."""