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Joke of the Day

"Saturday night is for moaning My name. Sunday morning is for chanting it."

"My boyfriend says I'm kind of selfish, but that's not true. I often think of other people. When I'm having sex with him."

"My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes."

"cat: mew me: actually its about games in journalism *cat continues to ask for food*"

"I visited a real graveyard this Halloween I logged back into Google Plus."

"What do you call two fruits that can't get married? Cantaloupes"

"If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one... What type of sandwich would you make?"

"Women's magazines are so funny. 1: You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days."

"How do you eat a DNA spaghetti? With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers...)"

"[Gets a Netflix notification on phone] FRIEND: Is that your ex? ME: [Lying] No."