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Joke of the Day

"I lost 25 pounds. Just want to say I lost 25 pounds and I'm proud of myself. The last time I was betting on horses I lost 100,-."

"People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They're not laughing now because it was ages ago."

"I couldn't remember the term ""hazmat suit,"" so I called it a ""science burqa."""

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn't ""fun to be around."""

"How did Mark Zuckerberg meet Miley Cyrus? Social net twerking"

"In Soviet Unicorn, rainbow poops you!"

"Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse."

"Why did the shark go to the doctors? Because he didn't feel very whale"

"Wrestling is so stupid..... .....Men with no pants fighting for a belt"

"What would a Chinese person never eat, but a Mexican regularly eats incredulously? Pan *duh*"