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Joke of the Day

"I lost 25 pounds. Just want to say I lost 25 pounds and I'm proud of myself. The last time I was betting on horses I lost 100,-."

"Oral Misgivings Q: How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex? A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn."

"Teacher and John Teacher: John. Give me a sentence beginning with ""I"". Paul: I is the... Teacher: No, John . You must say ""I am"" not ""I is."" John: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

"Boss: Got good news & bad news. Me: Ya? Him: I'm leaving for another job. Me: Ok..Whats the bad news? Him: .. Me: You planning to come back?"

"A husband and wife are getting married.... Minister: And now your wedding vows Groom: A E I O U Bride: Omg do u ever take anything seriously? Groom: sometimes....why?"

"My buddy is doing a semester abroad. I would be perfectly content doing a broad a semester."

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual! Two Languages? Bilingual! Only one language? Americans~"

"My psychologist says I have trouble identifying my emotions Not quite sure how I feel about it"

"I watch too much Asian porn... I accidentally learned to speak Korean."