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Joke of the Day

"What would a Chinese person never eat, but a Mexican regularly eats incredulously? Pan *duh*"

"It was actually the muslims who invented the C4 explosive... But it was the US:Army who later added a remote detonator."

"Which Disney character is Trump's favorite? WALL-E"

"I'm taking my mother-in-law to the new Resident Evil movie because she's staying with me and I love subliminal messages."

"If I had a nickel for every time I was right and my parents were wrong. . . I would owe more than what America owes China."

"Jesus saved my life... And before I could thank him he got in the car with Miguel and drove away."

"Two drummers walk into a bar... Ba dum tssh."

"I bought a used UPS truck. It gets poor gas mileage but I can park anywhere."

"Glue a tiny mirror over your driver's license photo so when you hand it to the cops they get confused and start arresting themselves instead"

"I have been trying to lose weight so I've been keeping my junk food in the basement. This makes it cellary."