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Joke of the Day
"People are like snowflakes: I can't talk to them."
Next Joke
 
"What do you call an owl who does magic? WHO-DINI"
"Gunshots Or fireworks?"
"funny? Ordered coffee at Starbucks. He asked my name, so I told him ""Bingo"". When my coffee was ready he shouted ""Bingo...Bingo"". I don't think he thought it was very funny."
"What's a monkey's favorite snack? Rhesus Peanut butter cups!"
"What is worse than ants in your pants? Uncles in your pants"
"My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory."
"Q: ""How long were you at your last job?"" A: ""Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"""
"I wish I could just ""like"" a text message so I don't have to respond."
"A horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies, ""My alcoholism is destroying my family."""