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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Did you give the kids a bath? Me: I got the dirt off. Wife: What does that mean? Me: *hides the leaf blower*"

"What do you get when OP gets erections? QR"

"I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying."

"Who is ant man's worst enemy? Raid"

"Each of my 4 children has made me a better parent. So I figure I only need 34 more kids to be a pretty decent guy."

"An astronomer looks at the sky through a telescope, searching for something. After a while he stands up, looks to the heavens, and yells, ""You cannot be Sirius!"""

"What do animal poachers do in their spare time? They go clubbing."

"Look at this fly rubbing his hands together, what is he up to?"

"When and where do chemists have sex? Periodically, on the table."

"Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal? He ran his business on a skeleton crew."