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Joke of the Day

"Calm down girls, it's Starbucks. They sell coffee, not unicorn blood."

"While those 2 guys at the bar were just fantasizing about what they'd do with powerball winnings, I stole their ticket."

"'I like mouse but I couldn't eat a whole one' - Our sodding cat"

"[obama cures cancer, invents hoverboards, saves baby by killing 3 lions with a flurry of devastating headbutts] Americans: LION KILLER OMG"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beaver E ! Beaver E who ? Beaver E quiet and nobody will find us !"

"Where are average things built? In a satisfactory"

"A couple's having breakfast. He says, ""Were you faking it last night?"" She says, ""No, I was really asleep."""

"People who are afraid of pedophiles need to grow up"

"A joke about babies and cocaine What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!"

"Snotty bitch in the elevator was looking down her nose at me. So I had to ask her, ""Lady, can I smell your pussy?"" Indignantly, she said, ""No, you may not!"" ""Oh, well, then it must be your feet!"""