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Joke of the Day

"A rap song where I'm just telling my dog about my day & I keep rhyming with ""treats"" so he stays interested."

"If you start a conversation with ""you're gonna say I'm crazy"" there's nothing I can do but to congratulate you on your clairvoyance."

"Why did the integer drown? Because it can't float."

"What grows on Seasame Street? I dunno, a Grover something."

"I'm allergic to bears. One bear bite and it's straight to the ER for me."

"Kids - there is no Santa. Those gifts were from your parents. Happy New Year from Wikileaks"

"Dear Taliban, When you shoot a kid in the head for wanting an education and she doesn't die, how can you be sure that God is on your side?"

"7yr old: The Tooth Fairy didn't come last night. *wipes tear* Me: Sorry sweetie, she probably got drunk and passed out on the couch."

"How do religions reproduce? They have sects."

"Why you never mess with imported ants? Because they are **important**."