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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use more lube!"

"Guide to making everyone hate you: Step 1) Turn your hat backwards"

"*watching news report of zombie apocalypse* Me: This is great. No work today!"

"I don't care how awesome the Internet is...if we don't have hover boards, then we are not in the future."

"Taco Bell is serving breakfast now. Because why wait until afternoon when you can get diarrhea first thing in the morning!TM"

"Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow."

"My boss asked me how many Galaxy Note 7s I ended up selling to the public. Unfortunately, I couldn't recall."

"Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact."

"What's the name of the car of a hipster batman? Tumblr."

"What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public? Get a broom."