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Joke of the Day

"Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow."

"My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me."

"Throwing Viagra in the milk so Santa has a hard time getting back up the chimney. Use a front door like everyone else asshole!"

"Kids, make sure you learn how to use a protractor in case one day you're a teacher & have to show kids how to use a protractor."

"Why does Father Christmas come down the chimney? It helps him slide down with ease,"

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free. (Stolen from my science textbook)"

"Mulder: we're trapped with ghosts in the stomach of a metal worm. Scully: those are just people, Mulder. We're on a train."

"*calls you by wrong name in bed, blames autocorrect*"

"Alderaan whoa this blew up"

"I did not expect Brazil to get beaten this badly by Germany I really did Nazi it coming"