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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter!"

"You left a note on the fridge saying ""This isn't working. Goodbye"" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don't get it."

"Grocery produce aisle ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?"

"The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher."

"""I'm having a public meltdown!!"" - A Snowman, maybe."

"What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate."

"THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree"

"If I could see 5 years into the future... would I still have 2020 vision?"

"What does a cat call a bowl of mice ? A purrfect meal !"

"Accidentally picked up two traffic cones instead of my children again"