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Joke of the Day

"I was doing well on my diet until I got my period and had to eat four pieces of pizza, a block of cheese, two candy bars, and seven houses."

Next Joke
 
"Went to Whole Foods today, because we needed $157 worth of pesto and breads that will be stale in an hour."
"Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital? Because the stock broker!"
"What does Garry Newman want to be when he grows up? Garry Oldman."
"I'm creeped out by the Hamburger Helper glove. ""Hi, I'm a dismembered hand here to help out with dinner."" No thanks."
"What do tight jeans and a cheap hotel have in common? No ballroom"
"Watched my first porno today... I looked much younger back then."
"Green men make me cross."
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face (There's a slight pause between garbanzo and bean when speaking the joke)"
"What's the worst part about raping a deaf chick? You have to cut her fingers off so she can't tell anyone!"