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Joke of the Day
"Do you know the best part about having only one eye and bad vision? LASIK is half off."
Next Joke
"Boss: Isn't your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move? Crab: [to HR person] see this is what I'm talking about"
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
"What is the center of a gay apple's life? Decor."
"Doesn't say much for humanity that the most popular are also the least interesting."
"What do Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and James Corden all have in common? Minority Bandleaders. Who says affermative action doesn't work."
"Reddit must have seen your mom the other day... ...cause went down for while and has been *up* ever since."
"Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria."
"So today my dad called me a ""Smart Alec""... ...but I had to remind him, my name is not and never was Alec."
"What did the Hobbit say to the Japanese man as he was leaving? Shirenara!"