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Joke of the Day
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Next Joke
"A man came back from the fruit and veg shop without buying anything. The trip was fruitless. edit: wording"
"[job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? ""I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man"" *under his breath* holy shit he's good"
"""more like president PAJAMA"" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*"
"What do you need when you're not doing well in your Advanced Placement U.S. History class? A Push"
"Two parallel lines have so much in common Its a shame that....."
"Whats the difference between a nun and a whore in a bathtub? One has a soul full of hope..."
"Are you a great at fishing? So you're a Mastur""bait""er"
"What's a frog's preferred fastener? Rivet."
"Marries a mime. Lives quietly ever after."